A Bit of Background

In the last post from my previous trip (December 18, 2007) I made mention of having difficulties settling into life in Canada. In fact, the subsequent couple of months got progressively worse and I struggled daily with living in the West. After so much time in Asia, I felt like I had one foot in each world and I couldn’t reconcile the two. As you may imagine, I changed enormously during my travels. This was partly due to the passive absorption of other cultures into my life and my way of thinking. But even more profound were the changes that I made on a conscious level and the work I did to overcome some issues that I had struggled with for years. The results were dramatic for me and I loved the person I became while I was away.

Once I arrived in Instanbul and started my reintegration with Western culture, I could feel these changes start to erode. But because I was still traveling and totally enthralled by the wonderful places I visited in the Middle East, I really didn’t pay much attention. After Turkey, my other destinations in that part of the world were much less Westernized and the process seemed to slow down significantly.

When I arrived home a couple of months later I was slapped in the face by my former life. I have heard other travellers comment that their greatest culture shock was encountered when coming home and I found myself suffering the same fate. As I started to adjust to life at home, I became more and more troubled by my regression towards the former me. There were days when I was dismayed by Canadian culture and other days when I was almost crippled by the despair I felt as I watched the person I had become slipping away from me. I tried to recapture my Asian life through various triggers such as music, incense, relaxation exercises and prayer, none of which proved effective. Finally, I could think of no other solution than to leave the West and return to Asia in the hopes that I could recreate the better me in the environment where she was initially born. I believe that I will ultimately find a way to live in Canada and still live the rich and rewarding life that so far has eluded me there. But before that can happen I need to build a more solid foundation and I believe that that can only happen in Asia.

Since the bulk of my personal progress was made in Nepal, and because that country feels more like home to me than anywhere else in the world, that is where I feel compelled to go. I also believe that the Himalayas provide a unique environment where I feel at peace and can grow spiritually. I am hoping to find some kind of work there that will allow me to stay in the country for a while and contribute to the wonderful society that brings me so much joy. In addition, I truly hope to find a new career path, the one thing that I didn’t manage to accomplish the last time I was away. I am still pretty much in the dark as to what direction this may take, but am optimistic that the right opportunity will present itself when I’m ready to receive it. I am leaving myself open to every possibility and will pursue all leads and contacts that come my way.

In the meantime, the month that I’m spending in Thailand at the Agama yoga centre is designed to give me a bit of a jump-start on the healing and growth process. It is not the perfect situation, but I have every reason to believe that it will allow me to focus 100% of my time on my own well-being both when I’m in classes and when I have downtime. I am convinced that it will provide a healthy and nurturing atmosphere where I can do this work without distraction.

I am so looking forward to starting the process.